The most scathing and hyper-critical personal attack you’ll ever experience does not come from others. The most scathing and hyper-critical personal attack you’ll ever experience comes from yourself.
Many people attack themselves with statements such as:
1. I’m not smart enough or I’m stupid.
2. I’m not skinny enough or I’m fat.
3. I’m not attractive enough or I’m ugly.
4. I’m not good enough or I’m a screw up.
5. I’m not worthy enough or I don’t deserve that.
These are not the words of people destined to be on medication for the rest of their life. In the world of work these are the words of people who are caught in the undertow of always doing more, doing it faster, doing it cheaper and most assuredly, doing it better than the competition…all while never being recognized or appreciated.
Here are three short strategies for quieting these personal attacks:
1. Notice yourself doing it. When you find yourself beating yourself up, the very best thing to do is not judge yourself, but to simply start noticing that you’re doing it.
2. Get curious. The next step is to ask yourself if you know where this criticism is coming from. If you can locate the origin you’re making considerable progress.
3. Be your own biggest advocate. Forget what your internal critic has to say and focus on your strengths and assets. For the majority of people, the words they use to describe themselves are far more focused on what’s wrong as opposed to what’s right. They hyper-focus on their liabilities and neglect their assets.
If you want to break this negative cycle and quiet your harshest critic, try following these three steps.